In her book Anna/Bella Amanda Swift tells the story of a girl who feels torn in two after her Mum and Dad divorce. The novel is essential reading for anyone going through a family break-up.

Being Girl asked Amanda to turn Agony Aunt for the day and answer your divorce FAQs. Here’s what she had to say…

My parents have decided to get a divorce, what can I expect?

Amanda: Life for you and your parents is going to change and that may be stressful for you all.  Emotions may be strong and may at times be upsetting, but in time you will probably get used to your situation and feel happier with it.  Your lifestyle will probably change: one parent may move out of the family home, or you might all move and set up two new homes.  You might spend time in each home.  Your parents may have new partners and they may move in.  They may have other children who may live with you.  Your parents may change jobs, or have less money.  But not all these changes will necessarily happen to you....

Can I help them get back together?

Amanda: I'm not sure you can.  I think that's something only they can decide.  You can tell them you'd like them to get back together: at least then they'll know how you feel and what you'd like to happen. 

I’ve got to pick who to live with. How do I even begin to make that decision?

Amanda: You could write down how you feel about that difficult decision.  I find writing really helps work out feelings...  You could even write a list of pluses and minuses of living with each parent.  You could talk to your parents about sharing your time between them, if that's what you'd like to do.

Mum and Dad’s arguments are making me miserable. What can I do?

Amanda: You could tell them that's how you feel.  You could ask them not to argue when you're around.  

My parents are so busy with the divorce they’ve got no time for me. Should I remind them I exist or just let them get on with it?

Amanda: Yes, I think you should remind them about you.  It may not look like it, but they probably really care about how you're feeling and don't want you to be upset. 

How will I feel if they start seeing other people?

Amanda: Strange, frightened, angry, ...lots and lots of feelings all at once... You probably won’t want a new person in your life but will accept them in time.

Will things ever get back to normal?

Amanda: If normal means how things were before the divorce, then no, there's probably no going back.  But life will settle down to a new kind of normal and that might be OK....