"I'll never forget how I felt the first time I saw James," recalls Karen. "Although he looked nothing like the kind of guy I thought I'd fall for, there was no denying something chemical was going on...on both our parts. Every part of my body went on high alert...I was tongue- tied, my heart beat double time, my face flushed and the butterflies in my stomach went wild...before I even knew his name!
"I'll never forget the first time Michael looked at me," smiles Carrie. You know that scene on Dharma and Greg where they're on the subway and their eyes meet? She melts into the floor. He looks like he was hit by a truck. Well, that's kind of how I felt. It was so strange. Like he actually stole my heart. The whole experience was beyond reason. It didn't last long but it was the best feeling."
Unlike most of the clichés about love and romance, evidence that love at first sight really does exist can be documented. Scientists might argue, however, that it's a specific kind of love...infatuation to be exact... that causes this incredible sensation. The excitement and nervousness accompanying an instant crush is intense, too intense they argue to survive the time and patience a long lasting relationship demands.
Look through your favourite magazine and you'll see fragrances advertised that boast of being laced with pheromones, the odourless airborne molecules researchers believe are behind that gushy, giddy first look. Recent studies are exploring the notion that love may be ruled as much by these molecules as it is driven by emotion. The physiological component is so powerful, some researchers believe, that within ten years there could be a brain chemical nasal spray manufactured to enhance love between a couple!
Doctors have compared falling in love with the feeling you get after eating lots of chocolate. As your body releases a load of hormones combined with the neurotransmitter dopamine, you feel a rush, a natural high. Your pupils dilate, your heart pumps harder, you start to sweat, even the glands in your scalp release oil to create extra shine. It's almost the identical response your body would have if you were afraid or angry. Scientists call it "the fight or flight response," only here you don't want to fight or flee.
The good news is that the knowledge of neuroscience is doubling every two and a half years, meaning that scientists have learned more than all prior humans about the working of the brain in the last two and a half years. They are excited about the possibility of understanding exactly what it is that ignites the spark that melts our hearts. The bad news is that the number of flip-flops your stomach does upon meeting someone has nothing to do with the kind of love that the fairy tales promise.
All the studies in the world can't change the fact that the honeymoon state of love at first sight doesn't last. Real life intrudes and annoying habits, human frailties, and serious character flaws come into play. Suddenly you notice that he wears funny shoes and talks way too much about Premier League Football. As the spell of crazy hormones dissipates, you see the size of his ego. As passion releases its grip, you see he is definitely not The One.
Real love takes time and patience and a whole lot more than being swept off your feet. It involves knowing one another in a deeper, more profound way. That can't happen in an instant. So, while you are waiting for that honest, intelligent, compassionate and kind prince to come along – if you get a chance to inhale some of those magical pheromones, enjoy!!
